The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What’s that, a bonus?!?! I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you go live in an old age home. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, and you get ready for high school. You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities. You become a little baby, you go back, spend your last 9 months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap, then you finish off as an orgasm! Amen.
Edited: Considering a fellow Seinfeld fan's request, a few more of George's Golden Words:
Why did it all turn out like this for me? I had so much promise. I was personable. I was bright. Oh, maybe not academically speaking, but I was perceptive. I always know when someone's uncomfortable at a party. It all became very clear to me sitting out there today, that every decision I've ever made in my entire life has been wrong. My life is the complete opposite of everything I want it to be. Every instinct I have in every aspect of life, be it something to wear, something to eat... It's often wrong
It's not a lie, if you believe it
Borrowing money from a friend is like having sex. It just completely changes the relationship
Pity's very underrated. I like pity. It's good
If you look annoyed all the time, people think you're busy
I always get the feeling that when lesbians are looking at me they’re thinking, that’s why I’m not a heterosexual.
For me to ask a woman out, I've got to get into a mental state like the karate guys before they break the bricks